Body and Soul

Sheila and I are giggling like school girls when we walk past a souvenir shop called Phallus Handicrafts — the exterior walls covered with phallic drawings.

I am sure we aren’t the only ones who react that way. I was recently listening to an interview with actor Jason Segel about shooting a nude scene in the film “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” He said: “Full-frontal male nudity is always funny. Whether it’s in a film or in real life, I get laughed at when I get naked.”

So, I mean no disrespect for the Bhutanese culture, but it’s highly unusual and, frankly a little bit funny, to see homes with drawings of male appendages near the front door, which are meant to ward off evil spirits and bring good fortune to those who reside there.

Punakha, in Bhutan’s Mo Chu valley, is ground zero for phallic imagery, thanks to the unorthodox teachings of a 16th-century Tibetan monk named Lama Drukpa Kunley, who settled here to spread his version of Buddhism, while spreading his seed among other men’s wives. On one occasion, he received a blessing thread to wear around his neck, but he wrapped it around his appendage instead, hoping it would bring him luck with the ladies.

“My meditation practice is girls and wine,” he once said. “I do whatever I feel like, strolling around in the Void.”

Some might call him a genius, but he is most commonly referred to as “The Divine Madman.” He is one of Bhutan’s most-loved saints and the Chimi Lhakhang Temple in this fertile valley, was built in his honor. Women having difficulty conceiving will stand before his golden statue to receive a blessing (known as a wang) from a monk acting on his behalf.

Since Chris and I are adopting (hopefully and finally this year), we thought it might be worth a try to get blessed, but we have to wait because another hopeful woman has taken the penis-shaped talisman and is circumnavigating the temple in a clockwise direction. When she returns, the monk hands her a set of die and she has three chances to roll an auspicious number combination. It took all three tries, but it didn’t look she got the answer she was seeking. Nonetheless, the monk handed her a small booklet, each page with a child’s name written on it. The one she chooses will become the name of her future offspring.

And the winner is: Kunley, the name of the Divine Madman himself. After all these years, he’s still got it.

When she is finished, Chris and I step up to the monk, who picks up the wooden phallus talisman and an iron archery set that the lama brought from Tibet. We bend forward and he taps them over our heads. We didn’t get the full treatment that the other woman got, but I pondered the idea of naming our future adopted child Kunley. Kunley Blake has a nice ring, doesn’t it?

Kevin, my brother-in-law, who also received a similar blessing said later: “This doesn’t mean I have to get married, does it?” Of course not, I replied, “A lot of people have children out of wedlock.”

A baby surely would be one of the more unique souvenirs acquired on this trip — and the most expensive. Perhaps some gifts from the Phallus Handicraft shop might be more suitable after all.